Saturday, April 9, 2016

34 Weeks and everything is a MESS right now...

So I started this blog a few years ago (has it really been that long?) just as a sort of journal for myself.  To really remember the details of life that time likes to rob from you.  Therefore I am always as honest as I can be in my writing.  Otherwise I would just post posed pictures on Facebook and Instagram all the time ;-)  Not my style.  So this post might seem a little on the negative side, but right now things are just kinda sucky.  Granted it could be worse and I ALWAYS count my blessings every single day, but you know those time frames in your life you just want to fast-forward through?  Now would be one for me!

The weather has been miserable.  So darn windy out here that we can't even keep our furnace lit or water in our toilets most days!  Not only is it windy, but it's a cold wind.  Yesterday it even snowed, yuck!  I was afraid of that after such a mild winter.  This is giving us severe cabin fever!  On top of that, everything keeps breaking in our house!  Why does it always all happen at once?  Garage door, dryer (on my Spring Cleaning day when Stella was at her Grandparents for the day...I was SOOO mad!), another bird in our water heater pipe (yes another, probably the 10th one since we've lived here), a flat tire on my car, and countless things of Mark's outside.  Today we found out a close friend had her baby and used the name we had picked out.  Bummer!  Now we are frantically trying to find a new one.  Plus we have just been so BUSY in general lately, it seems like every evening and weekend there have been a million things to do!  But that's just life, we all go through these phases.  My biggest worries right now involve Stella and Kaiser.

I plan to do an entire post on Stella and her progress and struggles very soon, but for now I will just say we had a follow-up with her developmental specialist and it didn't go as I'd hoped.  So we have to re-work her therapy schedule AGAIN.  It is a huge pain in my side.  Right now I am in the process of talking with each of her therapists explaining why we are changing the game plan after we just had her yearly meeting.  Would have worked better if we saw Dr Morgan before the meeting, but nothing ever lines up right.  Stella is adorable, sweet, and making lots of progress.  But there are still some issues (which I will explain later), so we are headed down yet another unknown road. 

And my poor dog Kaiser.  About a month ago I noticed him limping.  After about a week it seemed better, but all of the sudden he was afraid to walk across our hardwood floors.  He would get nervous and spread out his paws, which made him slip and slide even worse.  Well he ended up falling a couple times and the limp was back.  Mark took him to the vet about 3 weeks ago and she gave him pain meds and some arthritis supplements (he is just starting to get that, he will be 7 years old this month).  We took away his beloved Kong, put (ugly but anything for my dog) runners down all over our hardwood floors, and made him take it easy for a few weeks.  But he's still limping.  So Mark took him back yesterday.  Well we HATE the new vet at his office, never going back there.  So clueless and extremely un-helpful.  She referred us to a vet hospital in Peoria, so next week he goes in for x-rays.  She thinks (and I say that lightly) it might be a torn ACL.  Which would be so awful.  But regardless of the outcome, we are going to get him fixed up.  He is the best dog I've ever known and he deserves to be happy and pain-free.  Trying to keep him calm is hard, he has the heart of a puppy.  I hate seeing him in pain and hate having to keep him in his kennel.  Maybe it's the pregnancy but I couldn't stop crying last night over it.  If you have a dog you know what I mean.  They are just part of the family and you hurt when they hurt.  Mark was even pretty upset.  But today I feel positive, we are going to get him some good care and push past this.  I'm so thankful to have Kaiser in my life!

OK, enough of all that stuff!  This week is pretty empty, I feel a lot more focused, and it's time to finish up the baby prep!  Let's get onto the bump update...

Physically:  Overall I feel pretty good physically!  I have regressed back to lots of heartburn and nausea, and I even started to get carsick.  On one particular trip to town I had to actually pull over and throw up.  Stella graciously sat in the back, laughed and said "So funny mama!'  and then "OK, all done"  I think I will be the judge of that, thank you very much Stella :-) Otherwise my body is really cooperating nicely, other than just being so big in general!  I did go through a few weeks of pure insomnia though...literally laid awake for HOURS in bed, and then didn't even feel tired during the day!  Thankfully the last few weeks I have been sleeping great again.  Hoping the last few weeks go just as smoothly so I can get the rest of my prepping done!

I haven't had any more ultrasounds because all is going well.  Baby girl moves around a lot and isn't even breech anymore!  My doctor did say last week that she is pretty solid, so we are doing one more ultrasound next week to see how big she is.  Mark is going with, and at this point we will try to narrow down our choice between VBAC and scheduled C-section.  Her size and position will be a big factor, although I might not completely decide until the end.  We are also going to tour the hospital, get our route down, and pre-register.  Since my water broke 9 days early with Stella I am preparing for an early surprise arrival just in case :-)

Emotionally:  Don't think I need to go into much detail here thanks to my super-long blog post intro.  Overall I am sad, overwhelmed, and nervous.  But in some strange way it is giving me a new motivation to take control and really get things together.  I guess that's what happens when we feel like we have fallen, something just swoops in and tells us to STAND UP and carry on.  So I can confidently say I am optimistic and excited for the next few weeks.  Lots of extra prayers have been my saving grace lately.

What I've been up to:  Besides all that mumbo jumbo in the intro?  Not much!!  We did go look at 2 houses in the last few weeks.  One was awful and the other had lots of potential, but there was already an offer on it and it's just bad timing for us to buy a house right now.  We love our current house and it is paid off, we are just too far from Mark's work and our friends and family (about a half hour).  Plus I want Stella in a better school district for preschool.  So we aren't in a HUGE rush, but it would be nice to find something before she turns 3.

Mark and I did get our Spring Cleaning done, yay!  I also did some small re-decorating (just freshening the place up a bit) and took some pictures so that when we are ready to list our house we don't have to worry about all that with 2 babies and a dog!  I can't promise my house tour blog post will be up before baby arrives, but I'll try my best!  I am so happy to have all that done, now the only thing left around the house is to clean up the nursery (after we move Stella to her big girl bed) and wash up the baby clothes and bedding.  And probably one final house cleaning because mama likes a clean house :-)
I know this picture is awful.  It was taken Easter night and I was so swollen and tired.  And just tired in general from life lately!  I did treat myself to a nice facial at the spa last week and some new make-up...a great pick-me up!  With Stella I had my hospital bags packed by 35 weeks.  Not sure that will happen but this next week will be packed with baby prep, maternity photos, and a doctor appointment/hospital tour.  I will make sure to post after all that is done!  I am sure things will be going better by then :-)  Getting excited to meet baby girl and watch Stella become a big sister!

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